mitsubishievo | O, daĭ mi lyubovta [for Jack]

Kavinsky gave himself a week. He gave himself a week of distance and focusing on other things, and he was going to get over this stupid infatuation. The knowledge that Jack liked someone else was almost settling, really. It helped to keep the onus of his behavior on himself. Jack was a good kid, and he deserved to have some comfort, and if that meant he explored himself a little bit, then more power to him.

And, well, Kavinsky knew that rough sort of liking someone and being unsure how they felt. At least Poison seemed a relatively safe sort to have a crush on, as far as first queer crashes went. Kavinsky couldn't blame Jack for that, at least.

So, he gave it a week. A week, and then he'd be over this stupid infatuation.

God, he hoped so.

He texted Jack in anticipation of harassing him at his apartment--deliberately not thinking about Chelsea Cloisters, his history with the building, with people who had lived here once, with things he had done here--a simple im coming over and u cant stop me approximately five minutes before he arrived at Jack's door and knocked, sharp and succinct.

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"You'd like her. Everyone likes her on a good day." He shrugs. "I guess she doesn't like that it changes me a bit? She finds me harder to read when I'm stoned. I'd stopped touching the stuff when I knew I was going to see her." He leans back, closes his eyes for a moment. "Might take you up on that."

Given that Kavinsky had been collecting girls into his small smattering of friends--remarkably, unbelievably--since he got here, he did not dismiss the idea out of hand. Maybe he would like Jillie. He liked Jack, who reminded him so much of Gansey; he supposed it would be entirely possible to like Jillie as well.

"Whenever you want," Kavinsky said with a nod. Then, almost conspiratorially, he said, "It's legal here."

"I mean, it's quasi-legal in California," says Jack, with a shrug. "Yeah, it's medical but I've got friends who've got recommendations based on utter bullshit. I wouldn't put it past my dad to start randomly drug testing, especially after Jillie ended up in the hospital, so I tend to keep consumption to a minimum. It's...totally unBuddhist of me."

"Quasi-legal still gets your shit arrested if you can't front the system, man," Kavinsky pointed out. But he and Jack, they were the system, in a way, and he knew that. Jack was money and power, and Kavinsky was--well, he was what he was, and that meant dreamt up releases and his father always knowing how and when to protect him and bribery all across the Eastern seaboard.

But Darrow was different. He hoped neither of them had to worry about that shit back home. He supposed, from what he knew, he didn't any more.

"Whatever man. Consider it a road to enlightenment or something. Letting go of earthly connections."

He huffs a laugh and shakes his head.

"This is why I'm a bad Buddhist," he says. "Plus i have a tendency to attach quickly and I'm really fond of vintage leather jackets."

"You're a bad Buddhist because you like weed and people? Man, this is why I don't do religion any more. What's the point of anything that makes you feel bad about doing you? Just...let be."

He'd been better about letting be since he got here, since there wasn't the pressure of being something or someone that he wasn't. Here he was, now. This was it. If people didn't like it, that was just too bad.

"Buddhism isn't a religion. It's a belief system," says Jack, rolling his eyes a little. "And, honestly, I'm just trying to follow the middle path. I just don't always get it right." He shrugs. "But I will absolutely buy weed from you."

"Middle way sounds like it ought to be balanced, ya know? How's giving up earthly possessions and people and whatever balanced. I dunno. I don't get that shit." Kavinsky rubbed his forehead a little bit. "But I've got a fuckin' messed relationship with religion--or belief, or whatever. You do you. If it's working out for you, more power."

"It's supposed to be a struggle," reasons Jack,with a shrug of one shoulder. "If it was always easy, there'd be no point in doing it. It's about...balance. In all things."

"Life's shitty enough without telling yourself you're doing it wrong if you're not...suffering the right ways." Kavinsky couldn't remember a time his life had ever been easy. He was sure there were plenty of people who would argue against that assessment, but they weren't living his life, so they could shove off about it.

He laughed though, shaking his head. "This all took a weird turn. Philosophy was never my forte anyway. Bulgaria's not really known for her philosophers."

O, daĭ mi lyubovta [for Jack]

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